#10 Paradox #1 Sex, Love and the 30's

My life is a series of paradoxes that I'll be exploring from time to time. Right now I want some pussy. If any women read that they may consider it crude but so what! Sex is great. Hot, wet, good-n-gushy pussy is one of my favorite things in life. Any man that says different is probably gay. Even preachers love pussy. But I digress. I don't give a fuck what anybody else likes. I know what I like and right now-today-I am in the mood for some sweet. Therein lies the paradox. I'm picky, and AIDS is not a joke. I've had one night stands, fuckin' friends, and flings and as fun as it can be, sex without love gets boring and seems crude. Now I'm not going to sit here and lie--if an attractive woman fell into the web right now--she'd get hit. But I have to admit that sex mixed with love is really what the whole thing is about. It's relativly easy to find a woman that will fuck. Black, white, short, tall, skinny or fat there are plenty of willing women who will do the damn thing, but sometimes the damn thing just isn't enough.



I have always been a man that looked for a spark. I see attractive women but if I don't feel it, I don't feel it. I'm not just going to persue a woman because I know I can get some. Unless I get "that feeling" I'm usually content just to converse, maybe trade numbers and not even trip. What worries me is that the older I get the fewer sparks I see, and the fewer "that feelings" I feel. Hopefully that's mostly a function of location. Being in the midwest I understand that the supply of women that I really dig is extremly limited. When I move to California I'm sure that my outlook will change. Until then, I'm left to ponder.

Purhaps it's just that I'm getting older and my male biological clock is in my ears. They say that women have a nesting instinct but men do to. There is nothing like family. I come from a strong family full of good women and I know that I want my own family and a good woman that can be my friend, my lover and my partner for life. I know that sounds mushy, but it's true. Men and women balance one another. Fucking does not bring balance. I remember one-night stands that after all of the sweat, moans and screams of ecstacy seemed like a waste of time. Yeah I said it. After I busted a nut all I wanted to do was be away from the woman that gave it to me. I used to think that was weird, but I know it's not. It's just the truth. I have some good friends that have felt the same way. But there have also been the times that I accepted gettin' some as just that and I was very happy about the damn thang. Like I said, however, gettin' the damn thang can be a damnable thing and sex just for it's own sake gets boring.

As my life and outlook change and I grow I see clearly. I know that this is an issue I'll have to deal with until I find a woman that satisfies me emotionally, spiritually, mentally as well as sexually. Sex is, however, a strong impulse that I truly--did I mention truly(with every atom of my being) enjoy. It is what it is.




And now---a poem that reflects my present mood

Horny
J. Bailey
Copyright 2005

My, My, My
I'm watching you walk by
thinking'
Damn I want some of you
I want to do things to you that may be considered illegal in some states
I want to sink every millimeter of my tongue inside of you
to see if I can taste your soul
Is that too bold?
Would you be surprised if I told you I wanted to ride the waves of your wetness
Palm your pussy
Isolate your clit between my fingertips and stroke it just the way you like
Lick you so well you mistake me for a dyke
But I'm all man
Using hot hands and warm oils I'd massage every inch of your beautiful ass
Take you to task and run the tip of this black dick
between
your cheeks
and then tease the folds of your pussy until
you beg me to stick it in
But I'll decide when
You have to appreciate this dick
So I'll let you give it a kiss
and listen to you moan while it's in your mouth
It's not like I turned you out
We both know you love to suck it
Fuck it--
we're both grown & we do what we do
And just like you do me--
Girl you know I love to do you
So now's the time for 69
You take me to the edge and I push you over
again and again and again
your cum is so sweet to taste
I love to rub my face all over the right spots
It's so hot steam rises from sheets that we didn't bother turning down
Covers get in the way and we both need room to work
My dick's so hard it hurts
Curved to the left it time to tests the depth of your wetness
I want to make sure you feel it so I take my time sinking into you
My chest against your breasts
Legs pushed up, your knees try to touch your shoulders
And I ease every inch in
Balanced on tip toes and flat palms so I can get in
Find out how I fit in
I don't know when I've had better
Like a hot knife on butter, we do more than cut
we melt together
a perfect fit
When we fuck like this
we become the definition of that freak shit